Do you really understand your sexual fantasies?
Answer these questions to identify your true desires.
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What do you think about during sex?
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What do you think about when you masturbate?
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Is there a central or main fantasy?
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Does the main theme change or remain the same?
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What mental image or thought actually brings you to climax?
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What is the specific plot or story line in your fantasies?
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Do you think about sex with people other than your partner? Past partners or strangers?
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How would you describe the characters in your fantasy?
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What action are you taking in your fantasy?
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How are other people acting towards you?
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What is your attitude in the fantasy? What is the attitude of the other person(s) involved?
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What sexual thoughts do you have that embarrass you?
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What sexual feelings bring you shame or guilt?
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What are you thinking about when you can’t climax?
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What fantasies have you already acted out? What was the result?
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Have you had a sexual experience that you continue to fantasize about? What in particular was so exciting about the experience?
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Do your sexual fantasies include force?
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Do you focus on body parts such as breasts or penises? Which ones?
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Are articles of clothing, such as shoes, leather, scarves or lingerie, part of your fantasy? How are they used?
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Are your partners of the same or opposite sex?
Stanley Siegel, Intelligent Lust.
From Your Brain and Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life.