REVIEW: Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous

review by Matt Dobbs

GDecoding Your Kinkrounded in compassion and a history compelled to console and care for others, Galen Fous continues to deliver on his mission from The Sharp Edge of Love: “to raise sexuality to its rightful place alongside intellect, creativity, emotion and spirit, as a major, valid and integral aspects of the human persona.” Decoding Your Kink is an essential not just for the contemporary sexual liberation but for anyone willing to explore the depths of their innermost pleasures, their Eros, their unique sexual desire.

Decoding Your Kink considerately demystifies the myths surrounding sexual expression and the stereotypical labels slapped onto “fringe” sexualities. This in no way means that Fous writes for the fetish, queer, trans, polyamorous, or eco-sexual. Rather, drawing upon personal and professional anecdotes, Fous advocates a genuinely universal ethos, for all persons to explore all shades of their bodies and beliefs.

Despite wrangling with the undeserved and uncritical stigma facing unconventional forms of sex, Decoding Your Kink is not in the business of shaming back a “sex-negative” society. With gentle grace and personal empowerment, Fous espouses sex in its holistic and entirely human potential, an opportunity for personal growth and deep, mutual intimacy.

Fous has littered his work with personal and professional vignettes, case studies and research gathered from across his decades of research and practice. Decoding Your Kink offers a unique analysis of porn consumption and sexual dishonesty as the need for a paradigm shift regarding sex and sexuality cultivate a contemporary psyche. The symbolic nature of our desire becomes intricately connected in Fous’ exploration of centuries of sexual symbolism. For those willing to delve deeper, personally, intimately, Fous also offers a relatable series of techniques – for the single, the intertwined, and every-thing in between – on how we can tap into the deepest realms of our individual Eros, to unlock the full force of our healing potential, and to empower even the paradoxical, shameful aspects of our shadow.

Personable, relatable, genuine and gentle, Galen Fous writes to heal any who has felt their sexual desire battered, bruised, and buried by a sex-shaming society. At the heart of Decoding Your Kink, there stirs an unshakable drive to empower its readers to embrace their authentic selves with honesty and empowered compassion. At a time when it can be unbearable to be good to ourselves, Fous delivers a compelling thesis that being sexually aware, genuine, honest, and consensual are the greatest gifts we can give unto ourselves and others.


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